You’ve seen The Incredibles… “No CAPES!” 😉
We have to take off the cape.
THIS is your step-by-step guide on HOW TO Stop Striving for Supermom. How to take that cape off forever and not feel guilty about it.
IF YOU’RE ON THE RUN, LISTEN TO THE VIDEO!
I still have twinges of guilt come over me sometimes when I know that I’m not doing everything to help everyone around me, so if you feel like you’re going to let people down if you stop striving for Supermom status, I know where you’re coming from and I’ve got you covered.
In part #1 of this series, I talked about how other people really DO benefit when we take off the cape. If you missed that one, make sure you watch the episode or read the blog post!
“This workshop will take your evenings from exhausting to enjoyable. It is absolutely amazing.”
I’ve helped a lot of women so far and I can’t wait to help you too! What is it? It’s a 4 week live online workshop where I teach you how to effectively meal plan, grocery shop with a really solid list and then meal prep so that you never have to deal with that super-annoying question of “What’s for Dinner?” ever again!
You get my accountability, coaching and guidance all the way through it, but you also get:
- 30 dinner recipes & 5 side dish recipes that you get to pick from when you’re planning your menu,
- Weekly SUCCESS Tips so you don’t get stuck and
- 2 extremely helpful spreadsheets to help you stay organized!
HOW TO Stop Striving for Supermom!
Your step-by-step guide to taking off the cape and NOT feeling guilty about it…
Step #1 – IDENTIFY WHAT is over-extending you.
Why is it so hard to keep up with everything?
It’s so hard because there are things you’re doing that are stressing you out. Making you feel stretched so freakin thin that you’re on the verge of snapping. Like I talked about in last week’s episode, there are a lot of people who end up hurt when you snap, so the very first step needs to be that you identify what it is that is stressing you out.
What is it that’s exhausting you? Comment with it below!
Step #2 – DELEGATE PARTS of whatever that is.
In 2014, I hit rock bottom with Supermom-ness. I threw my hands in the air, started crying in my kitchen and admitted that I just couldn’t do it all anymore. I needed to stop striving for supermom.
I remember it so clearly… I was talking to Ryan and I said, “Hunny, I just can’t do all of this anymore. I need help.”
I needed to delegate something. For me, it was cleaning that was stressing me out the most, so I delegated parts of cleaning to Ryan. He was more than willing to help, he just didn’t know that I was so stretched thin and hitting that breaking point.
(Remember last week when I talked about how taking off the cape can strengthen your marriage? THIS is part of that!)
Step #3 – Identify WHY it’s hard for you to delegate.
Those simple words of, “Hunny, I just can’t do all of this anymore. I need help.” were soooo hard for me to say. But why? Identifying WHY it’s hard to delegate will help you to move through it.
- Is it a part of perfectionism? That when someone else does it for you, it might not be perfect?
- Is it that you don’t want to lose control? You want to have control over everything that happens?
- Is it that you feel like a failure because you can’t do it all?
I like things done in a certain way, but that’s not why it was hard for me to admit I needed help.
I felt like a massive failure.
“Can’t” is not in my vocabulary. I just don’t use it. I’ve always had the “I can do it” kind of attitude so it’s really hard for me to say that I can’t do it all. It’s logical that we can’t do it all, but I just have a really hard time with that. My brain just instinctively says, “Well yes I can, I just have to figure out how.”
We have to realize that taking off that cape and not being Supermom anymore does NOT make you a failure.
Here’s how to work through those feelings of guilt:
Remember my episode all about Retraining Your Brain for Confidence & Contentment? It was all about affirmations. If you struggle with feeling guilty when you admit you can’t do it all, then create an affirmation that truly speaks to you and follow all of the steps from that episode. One of my personal favorites is,
“I have worked hard.
I deserve to rest.”
Delegating can be hard, but if you say your affirmations over and over again AND you remember that the end result is a happier family and a less-stressed version of YOU, then you are going to feel so much better about not doing everything.
Step #4 – Take Baby Steps.
Don’t try to delegate everything all at once – that would probably just create more stress for you. Just take it one step at a time, one task at a time.
Step #5 – Assess
Sometimes delegating decreases stress, sometimes it doesn’t. Usually, that’s because that perfectionism or need for control sets in and you’re looking at how something got done and you’re thinking,
“Oh BOY… that’s not done quite the way I want it to be.”
It’s ok. Perfectionism and need for control aren’t going to go away over night and maybe you just need to delegate a different task for right now.
Either way, put a reminder in your calendar for 1 month from today that says “Assess Delegating”. When that reminder goes off on your phone, take some time to reflect and make sure that what you delegated IS actually reducing your stress.
COMING UP NEXT WEEK!!!
I’m going to talk all about the superpowers that you will STILL HAVE even after you’re not Supermom anymore. I want to point out to you everything that you’re still going to rock at even after you’ve decided to not do it ALL anymore. It’s going to be SUCH a good one – you won’t want to miss it!
Remember to share this post with your friends!
We all want to be Supermom, but we deserve to have less stress in our lives and delegate without guilt, so help me reach as many stressed out moms as I can by sharing this with them!
Let’s all stop striving for Supermom together!
~ Lacey ~
A little about me… I am Lacey Busse – busy, working mom of 2 and I created Working Moms Reduce Stress because I love teaching other moms how to alleviate stress. How to slow down, enjoy your time with your family AND carve out time for yourself. I can’t wait to get to know you! Reach out to me at any time by emailing me at email@example.com!